Imagined Love Read online

  At first she screamed for him to get out, but she hated the idea of him running straight to Willa so she made him stay. They didn’t speak or even look at each other for weeks. It was only after Cicely caught Landon with a girl in his room that she said a word to him. Every time she laid eyes on him she threatened to kick him out if he got some girl pregnant. As far as Landon was concerned, there was no need for her to say anything because he was always careful. His

  friends had teased him for months saying he was gay for turning down sex with “hot mama” Jessica Simms because he didn’t have a condom! No one understood just how determined Landon was not to ever be like his parents or how far he’d go to prevent it from happening.

  Towards the end of his party Landon noticed that Katrina had become quiet and withdrawn. He plopped down in the chair next to her hoping to make her laugh. Instead, Katrina burst into tears and threw her arms around him. Fighting back tears of his own, Landon whispered how much he loved her and how badly he would miss her. That only made her cry harder and she held tightly to him. Katrina knew it wasn’t right to have a favorite sibling but he had always been hers. Landon made living in their house bearable and without him she’d be lost and alone. He was the only good thing about their family and she would miss him terribly.

  “Don’t cry, Kit Kat,” he said, wiping her tears. “You’re my baby and you can come wherever I am. I’m gonna work hard to get my business going and get a house and then you and Jade can come stay with me and we’ll all work together. As soon as you graduate from high school then . . . what’s wrong with you?” Landon asked when Katrina looked at him strangely. “What?”

  “You love her, don’t you?”

  “What? Who?”

  “I never noticed it before but you love Jade, don’t you?”

  “Yeah, like a sister but . . .”

  “No, not like a sister . . . like a girlfriend.”

  “Girl, quit tripping! Do you know how crazy you sound?” Landon snapped.

  “That stupid Alonzo messed it up for you, huh? I don’t know what she see in that jerk!”

  “Katrina! What I look like trying to be with a girl your age? I just graduated from the twelfth grade and y’all just about to start high school! Do you know how stupid that sounds?” he laughed. “Now come on and dance with your big bro.”

  Katrina knew she’d hit a nerve with Landon but decided to let the matter drop and twirled around with him. It would turn out to be the last time they ever danced together.

  After the party was over and Willa’s house was cleaned, she called Landon to the living room. She hadn’t intended on being so emotional but as she looked at the handsome young man towering over here, she began to cry.

  “I’m so proud of . . . uhm,” Willa grunted as she turned away from him and took a few moments to compose herself. Memories of their last four years together flooded her mind and the tears continued to flow. “Okay, let me try this again,” she said, clearing her throat. “I’m so proud of you, Landon. You just don’t know how it made me feel to see you walk across that stage tonight. I couldn’t have been

  more proud if I’d given birth to you myself. I think you’re an exceptional young man and I know you’re gonna make all your dreams come true out there in California. I’m really gonna miss you, but I want you to go for it, you hear me? Don’t let anything get in the way of doing what you set out to do. I love you, Landon, and I’ll always be your biggest cheerleader. You are truly like the son that I . . .” Willa’s voice trailed off as Justin and Jamal came to mind.

  “Aw, man, Ma, you got me in here crying like a little girl! Why you do that?” he sniffed then pulled her into his arms. Landon squeezed her tightly. “Thank you so much for believing in me when everybody else thought I was crazy. Thank you for your support and constant reminding that I can be anything I wanna be.” They both were blubbering by then. “Thank you for being the mother I so desperately needed. You just don’t know what having you in my life did for me. You saved me and I love you to death, Willa Caldwell, despite what people say about you,” he laughed loudly.

  “Here, ole crazy boy,” Willa laughed then handed him an envelope as she wiped away her tears. “It’s just a little something to help until you get on your feet out there. Be good, baby, and always know I’m here if you need me. I love you.”

  “I love you too, Ma. Thank you for everything.”

  The next morning Landon bawled as his train pulled out of the Amtrak station in Chicago. And the three girls who loved him most cried the whole ride home. He didn’t cry when he got there, though. Landon loved living in Oakland and he worked hard to start making his dreams a reality. Going to school and working full-time wasn’t easy but definitely worth the effort. He wrote to his favorite girls frequently but it was only Jade who really responded. Willa and Katrina sent cards and little notes occasionally but Jade wrote long, heartfelt letters that seemed to bare her soul. It was during those times when they were furthest away that Landon really got to know Jade’s heart. And his broke a little each time she talked about still being in love with Alonzo even though he treated her badly. He just didn’t understand why such a sweet and wonderful girl would waste time loving someone as undeserving of her affection as Alonzo.

  Landon tried to convince her to see other people but she just wouldn’t do it. Jade described herself as a one guy, one girl type of chick and refused to play with someone else’s heart when hers still belonged to Alonzo. She was head over heels for him and convinced they’d end up married with a family despite how much of a girl chaser he was. Alonzo was gorgeous and there was no denying that. Standing at 6’3” tall, he had a chiseled, rock hard body and a pretty face complete with dimples. More than anything, he was very charming and adept at getting girls to do whatever he wanted. They fed him, gave him money, bought extravagant gifts, and let him have his way with them just for the chance to say they’d had a piece of the “Zo Man”.

  Alonzo knew it was all a game and that he was being used just as much as he was using them. Those girls didn’t really care about him. They merely liked the way he looked and what he represented. No matter what the sport; be it baseball, football, basketball, or even running track, Alonzo was always the star of his team. His face was splattered across the local newspapers and his name was mentioned on the radio and throughout the city. People regarded him as some sort of celebrity and girls fought for a chance at him. They wanted to take pictures with him or wear his jerseys and be known as the girl who had his heart. When Jade joined him at Lew Wallace, a lot of them resented the fact that it was always her who had that title and they relished every chance they got to inform her of Alonzo’s betrayal.

  The sad part about it was that Jade knew he was sleeping with other girls. He never lied about or tried to hide it. However, when he started parading them in her face, she was fed up and finally decided to call it quits! Yet every time Jade would get mad and start to leave, Alonzo would grab her and remind her that things didn’t have to be the way they were if she would just give him what he wanted. No matter how many times she explained that she just wasn’t ready to have sex he kept putting pressure on her to do so. And the aggressive way he went about it was a big turn off. It got to the point where Jade could barely be in the same room with Alonzo because the moment they were alone he was all over her. He even harassed her at school by pressing himself against her, whispering sexually explicit things in her ear. Or he’d sneak up behind her in the lunch line and stick his tongue down her ear or start groping her in front of everyone!

  Jade was frustrated and didn’t get why Alonzo wanted her so badly when he had any number of girls and grown women giving him exactly what he wanted. He insisted it was different with her because he loved her and knew she was the only girl who genuinely cared for him. Yet, Alonzo continued to hurt and humiliate Jade despite his claims of love. It was something he never had an explanation for, but Cicely always did.

  “Whoa, whoa slow down, baby girl, where you going?
” she asked when Jade nearly ran into her as she bolted down the steps.

  “I need to get out of here. I never wanna see Alonzo again in my life! I don’t deserve this crap and . . .”

  “Okay, come talk to me,” Cicely said, as she took Jade by the hand and led her to the couch. “Now tell me what happened.”

  Once again Jade told her about some girl coming to tell her about sleeping with Alonzo. She was tired of looking like a fool and having people laughing at her for being stupid! He didn’t care about her like Katrina, Willa, and Landon had been saying all along.

  “Listen to me, Jade. Alonzo love you. It’s those tramps he don’t care nothing about. Just think about it. Who do he have on his arm at all the big, important stuff

  like his sports banquets and award ceremonies? You. Who do he let wear his jersey and class ring? You! Those little hoes be doing everything they can to get that stuff and he only let you have it. And why do you think that is, Jade? It’s because he love you. Alonzo ain’t thinking about them stankin’ heifers. They ain’t nothing but something to screw and get rid of but you he plan to marry. Let me show you something,” Cicely said then ran to her bedroom.

  A few seconds later she returned with a jeweler’s brochure. “Now I ain’t supposed to be showing you this, but I want you to know how serious this boy is about you. You see this?” she asked pointing to the most spectacular wedding ring Jade had ever seen. “This is the ring Alonzo pointed to last week and said he plan to get it for you. This is how much you mean to him, Jade. And I swear he gone get it because he love you, girl.”

  Both Jade and Cicely were grinning from ear to ear as if it never occurred to either of them that Alonzo didn’t have twenty dollars in his pocket let alone six thousand dollars for an engagement ring!

  “You the only one I ever heard him talk about,” Cicely continued. “Do you think he even mention those other tramps? Shoot, even his friends told you how much Alonzo talk about you. They was over here teasing him the other day about how in love he is with you. So don’t you let those nasty hookers win, you hear me? Alonzo will never leave you, Jade. He just being a man right now but trust me, when he ready to settle down it’s gonna be with you. I can already picture y’all wedding and all those pretty grandbabies you gone give me,” Cicely smiled, as she hugged Jade tightly. “Don’t give up on him, baby. Alonzo is your man and he only love you.”

  Katrina had been listening to their conversation from the top of the stairwell. She rolled her eyes when she walked downstairs and saw the stupid grin on Jade’s face. No matter what people tried to tell her or even what she saw with her own eyes, she still chose to stick with Alonzo and believe the fantasy world Cicely described. Idiot, Katrina thought and resolved at that moment not to say another word about it. As far as she was concerned Jade was getting exactly what she deserved.

  Despite her problems with Alonzo, Jade had a lot of fun her first few years of high school. She made new friends, became a varsity cheerleader, formed a dance group, and enjoyed being a teenager. Tawny Calloway and Dion Withers became two of her best friends during the first months of freshman year. Most of the teachers still sat students alphabetically so Tawny was seated behind Jade in their first period English class and fifth period Biology. They hit it off the very first day and were inseparable from that point on. The two of them had a lot of the same interests and were never at a loss for conversation.

  Tawny thought Jade was the most beautiful girl she’d ever seen and said so often. Her reason for doing so was to convince her friend that she didn’t have to put up with Alonzo’s nonsense. She was smart and pretty and could have her pick of any guy in the school, or the city for that matter. Jade appreciated Tawny’s concern but if there was one thing she didn’t like about her, it was her inability to let things drop. It was quite clear Tawny didn’t like Alonzo. However, it was just as clear that Jade wasn’t going to leave him alone until she was ready and her friend didn’t seem to comprehend that. What aggravated Jade most, though, was the fact that Tawny was no better at choosing boyfriends herself. She felt, although Tawny denied it, that the girl was very insecure about her looks and dealt with boys who treated her badly because she didn’t think she could do any better.

  Tawny was a very cute girl but her body type was rather unusual. On top, she was slender and youthful. Her bottom half, on the other hand, was anything but. Her legs were long and skinny but her hips were really wide and her butt was humongous! Kids teased her mercilessly saying she was mixed matched and a host of other mean things. Tawny pretended it didn’t bother her but Jade could see how much it hurt her. To dull the pain, she dated and slept with three of the biggest jerks in their freshman year alone! So Jade didn’t know where Tawny got off trying to scold her about Alonzo. Admittedly, he was a jerk too but she happened to love him and believed wholeheartedly he would change if she just hung in there. Eventually Jade and Tawny came to the decision that in order to save their friendship, discussing their love lives was off limits.

  Jade’s friendship with Dion came about in a very different way. She’d say hello to him sometimes in sixth period History class but they never actually talked until two months after the start of ninth grade. Like Tawny and every other freshman, Jade got teased every day. It was true that most people thought she was beautiful but there were quite a few who didn’t find her attractive at all. And they made sure to let her know it. Reggie, Luther, and Devontae were the three that gave her the most trouble.

  “When did you leave the enterprise?” Reggie had asked the first week of school.

  “What?” Jade frowned.

  “You from Star Trek, right? Those stupid eyes of yours must be alien! Human beings don’t have ugly eyes like that.”

  Every day one of the three would announce that “the alien” was there or “stupid eyes” had arrived. Jade thought they would eventually grow tired of saying it, but for two months straight it was all she heard in class or in the hallway when they ran into her after lunch. And when they weren’t verbally saying it, one of them would place a note on Jade’s desk with alien written all over it.

  “Hey, alien, do everything you see look stupid through your stupid eyes?” Luther asked to the amusement of the class.

  Jade was at her wits end and was on the verge of tears when Dion stood up to her torturers and told them to shut the hell up . . . among other things! To say everyone was shocked would’ve been putting it mildly. Dion wasn’t exactly what anyone would consider tough. Tall and skinny, he didn’t look strong enough to withstand a stiff breeze. So taking on a husky fellow like Luther, not to mention his two sidekicks, seemed suicidal! However, Dion stood his ground and demanded they leave Jade alone.

  “Alright, dude, damn! We was just playing with her,” Reggie said, still shocked by Dion’s outburst.

  Jade was surprised as well but very grateful. After class she thanked him and asked if he wanted to join her for lunch the next day. Then she asked for Dion’s number and promised to call him that evening. They stayed on the phone for hours talking and laughing about everything. Dion was hilarious. He made Jade laugh so hard that her stomach hurt by the time they finally hung up from one another. And that was the start to a really great friendship. Every day after History class Jade would call Dion her warrior for what he’d done to stop Reggie and his goons from bothering her. It was a few weeks later when she found out Alonzo had promised them bodily harm if they even looked at Jade let alone teased her!

  Unfortunately Jade’s relationship with Katrina began to go downhill. They argued more and seemed to get on each other’s nerves a lot easier than before. Jade always tried to include her oldest friend in whatever she was doing with her newest friends. However, Katrina made new friends and excluded Jade from whatever they had planned. That had more to do with the type of things they were doing. Tawny and Dion were happy going to the movies, to the mall, or just hanging around the house whereas Katrina wanted to go to parties, get drunk, and have sex! She didn’t have time fo
r Jade and her square friends. That was, of course, until she needed a ride or money or an excuse to tell Cicely—then it was Jade to the rescue. It was something Dion, Tawny, and even her sister Jewel brought to her attention quite a bit, but Jade still loved Katrina and didn’t want to give up on their friendship.

  Besides, Jewel was in no position to talk. As far as Jade was concerned, her sister was no better than Katrina. In fact, she was worse! Jewel may have fooled their father with her sweet little girl act but Jade knew who she really was. She drank routinely, smoked weed on occasion, and even had a pregnancy scare with no idea which guy was responsible! Even still, Jewel had the nerve to put her finger in Jade’s face and call her a fool for putting up with Katrina, Alonzo, and their mother too! Jade slapped her sister’s hand away and told her to get out. They didn’t speak for weeks after that. And if it hadn’t been for Miles constantly

  reminding them it was Christmastime and that they needed to get over whatever they were mad about, Jade would have let it stay that way forever. As it stood, she was cordial to Jewel and only spent time with her when she was forced to do so.

  One afternoon in March of 1986, Jade danced at a lunch hour sock hop with Dion and Tawny and the crowd went nuts! No one had any idea just how good of a dancer Jade was and they cheered her on until it was time to return to class. Katrina had seen her dance before but never like that. After school she talked to her about forming a group. There was a talent show scheduled for the Friday before spring break and Katrina wanted to enter it.