Imagined Love Read online

  “I’m so sorry, baby. Believe me, I truly am. But everybody got problems they gotta work through. And I know ours wouldn’t even be that bad if you would stop egging me on and . . .”

  Willa was incensed! “Oh, so it’s my fault that you beat me because I say stuff you don’t like and . . .”

  “No! No, baby, I shouldna said that. And I didn’t mean it like that,” Miles interjected. “I just meant that we both do things to hurt each other and we both need to stop.”

  “Look, Miles, I think what we both need to do is be honest and face the fact that we just don’t belong together,” she said then took a seat at the kitchen table.

  “How can you say that, Willa?” Miles asked, as he sat across from her. “How can you even think that after everything we been through? Look at the life we built together.”

  “But it’s not the life I want, Miles. And it’s obviously not the one you want either otherwise you wouldn’t feel the need to fight me or try to force me to be somebody I’m not. Why can’t you just admit we made a mistake and do what it takes to correct it? We’re no longer those teenagers trying to prove everybody wrong. We’re grownups who should be able to own up to the fact that we were the ones who were wrong. We don’t belong together.”

  Miles felt anger pulsating through his body with each word Willa spoke. He wanted to lash out at her and make her see how stupid she was being. Nobody was going to provide for her or put up with all the things he had endured because of her. From the day he and Willa decided to have Jade and be a family, he’d worked any and every job he could get to make sure his wife and daughter didn’t want for anything. And although they’d never discussed it, Miles did so with the understanding that Willa would continue to stay home taking care of him and Jade

  and the other kids they were supposed to have. He had tried to remain calm two years ago when she first brought up the idea of going to work. But the fact that she told him she was getting a job instead of asking how he felt about it turned their conversation into a screaming match. Miles ended the argument by forbidding her to work and thought that was the end of it. He was livid the next week when Willa announced she would be starting her new job the following day. Knowing she had been hired as a secretary, catering to the needs of some other man, sent Miles over the edge. And for the first time in their relationship, he hit her!

  As a natural reflex Willa hit him back then prepared to leave. Miles pled with her to stay and vowed never to hit her again. Even though he hated the idea of his wife working, especially knowing she would be at the beck and call of some other man, Miles gave in as a sort of peace offering. He had hoped Willa would hate it and quit like she did with most things, but a few years had passed and she was still working as Leonard Wilson’s secretary.

  Miles thought letting Willa have a job would make her more agreeable but she became even more defiant. He expected his wife to look and dress a certain way but, as usual, Willa ignored his wishes and did whatever she wanted to do. He bought her skirts and blouses to wear so she would look like a lady. Willa returned them for jeans and short dresses that he often said made her look like a whore! Miles wanted her naturally beautiful and simple like she used to be but she arched her eyebrows, wore false eyelashes, and put on makeup nearly everyday. She seemed more like a glamorous movie star than a wife and mother and drew the attention of a lot of men. Yet, Miles put up with it for the sake of their marriage. Most offensive, however, were the rumors about Willa having affairs right under his nose! Miles’s own family called him an idiot for letting his wife run all over him. His mother, who’d hated Willa from the first day they met, constantly scolded him to get rid of her and find a decent mother for Jade. He stood by Willa, though, and continued to love her despite the blatant disrespect she showed him. And then, after all of that, she had the nerve to sit in front of him demanding a divorce and calling the life they’d built together a mistake! It was almost too much for Miles to take, but he managed to keep his composure and tried to convince his wife to keep their family together.

  “So you think divorcing me and breaking up our family is the grownup way to handle this?” he frowned. “Kids give up and quit, Willa. We need to do whatever it takes to make things work. For better or for worse, remember?”

  “Well, it’s been more for worse than I can take. Besides, we’ve been together for all the wrong reasons since the very beginning and that’s just not good enough anymore. That’s not a life, Miles.”

  “What you mean all the wrong reasons? I’ve always loved you, Willa—from the first moment I saw you.”

  “And that’s my point, Miles. You love who I used to be. That broken child who needed someone to love her,” Willa admitted. “Except for Mae, you were the only person that really cared about me. And when she died you were all I had in the world. You were my superhero and I was more than grateful to be rescued by you. But that’s not me anymore, Miles. I’m not the helpless little girl who couldn’t survive without you. I’ve worked hard not to ever be her again and I can’t pretend to be just so you feel important in my life. I’m not happy and I don’t believe you are either. We wouldn’t keep hurting each other if we were. And we aren’t happy because we want very different things. We don’t belong together, Miles. Maybe we did at one point in our lives but that’s not the case now,” she said, wiping tears from her face. “Why can’t you just admit that?”

  “I don’t want to give up on us, Willa.”

  “It’s time, though, Miles. Even Jade knows that mommies and daddies who really love each other don’t act like we do. I just wanna be happy. And believe it or not, I want you to be happy too,” Willa said, as she grabbed his hand. “We just can’t be that together, Miles. We can’t. And if you would be honest with yourself you’ll have to admit that I’m right. Just because we have a past together doesn’t mean we have a future.”

  Miles stood up to pull Willa into his arms and cried harder than he ever had before. “I’m so sorry, baby.”

  “Don’t be sad, Daddy,” Jade said, startling them both. “I’ll visit you so you won’t be lonely, okay? Maybe I can come when the man that really loves Mommy shows up on his horse!”

  Willa wanted to strangle Jade! Ugh, you stupid little girl, she thought, staring hatefully at her daughter. Why can’t you ever just shut up?

  “Go to your room,” Miles demanded. “So that’s what all this has been about? You want me to just roll over while you go riding off in the sunset with some other man?”

  “No, Miles, it’s not like that. She overheard me talking to . . .”

  “Yeah, I see what’s going on! I knew you was out there screwing around and now you trying to play with my head! ‘And believe it or not, I want you to be happy too’,” he mimicked her. “You oughtta get some kind of award for that performance.”

  “Miles, please just listen to me. I’m not . . .”

  “Shut up, liar! You almost fooled me with that little speech but I get it now. Just don’t think you gone take my daughter and shack up with some chump! That ain’t never gonna happen!”

  “You know what, Miles? Believe what you want! I’m tired of trying to talk to you because it doesn’t matter. I’m not spending another day of my life being with somebody I hate!”

  “Oh, so you hate me, huh? After all the years I took care of you even when your own mama didn’t want nothing to do with you,” he screamed, moving towards Willa. “But I guess that’s my fault for not listening. She told me I could do better than you but somewhere in my stupid mind I thought I could change you into something respectable. But you ain’t never gonna be nothing more than the useless tramp you are right now!”

  Willa spat in his face! “You son of a . . .”

  Miles snatched her by the neck and rammed her into the refrigerator. Willa kicked and scratched at him but he was too strong and he continued to slam and choke her.

  “Daddy, stop it!” Jade screamed, as she tried to push Miles away from her mother. “You’re gonna hurt the baby!”r />
  “Get outta here, Jade! This is . . . wait, what you say?”

  “Baby girl, just go to your room, okay? Please,” Willa cried.

  Jade ran into her parents’ bedroom and dialed 9-1-1 the way “Officer Friendly” had told the students at her school to do in case of an emergency. She probably saved her mother’s life by doing so!

  Cicely was shocked to see Willa and Jade standing at her front door holding their bags.

  “I’m sorry to just drop in unannounced like this but I couldn’t find your number and . . .”

  “Girl, please, I told you y’all welcome here anytime,” she said, holding the screen door open for them. “And I know three little girls that can’t wait to see you again, little lady. So gone upstairs and say hi ‘cause I know they ain’t sleep,” Cicely laughed then planted a kiss on Jade’s forehead.

  “Sorry,” Willa said sheepishly, as a barrage of high pitched squeals came from the girls’ bedroom. “They’ll never go to sleep now. I’m so sorry.”

  “Uh, uh, don’t even worry about that. I have to threaten them kids with bodily harm every night to make they butts go to sleep. Jade being here ain’t causing no problem so don’t give it another thought. I’m just happy you came here. From the look of your neck I’m guessing that fool lost his mind again,” Cicely said, as she went to the kitchen to make two cups of Folgers.

  The two of them sat in the living room sipping coffee and talking late into the night. From the moment Cicely handed her those wet paper towels in the office, Willa sensed they would become friends. And it seemed as if they were on their way to doing just that . . . or so she thought.

  4

  Chapter Four

  Although Miles had been arrested the night before, Willa had no way of knowing how long he’d actually be detained, if at all. A man beating his wife wasn’t exactly a high priority for the local police department. If Jade hadn’t screamed hysterically to the 911 operator that her mom was being killed they may not have come at all. The performance Willa put on for the boys in blue, however, made it so they had to arrest Miles!

  When one of the officers asked for a statement, Willa lied. Miles’s gun had fallen to the floor after he rammed her into the refrigerator but she said he held it to her head and would have shot her if they hadn’t arrived. She sobbed and trembled uncontrollably as she described her and Jade’s horrifying ordeal which was made worse by the fact that she was pregnant. Miles knew with certainty he was going to jail as he watched his wife give an Oscar worthy performance that nearly had the two officers in tears. He kept his mouth shut knowing any protest he made would only give credibility to Willa’s story.

  If his freedom hadn’t been in jeopardy Miles probably would have laughed, or at the very least applauded the way his soon-to-be ex-wife manipulated the situation to her advantage. What nearly brought him to tears, though, was the realization that Willa was willing to do anything to be free of him. And it was then, standing handcuffed in his kitchen, that Miles accepted the painful truth that his marriage was over.

  The next morning, after dropping the kids off at school, Willa brought Cicely to her house to help gather the rest of Jade’s things. It turned out to be a huge mistake. From the moment they walked in Cicely began begging! At first her requests were outlandish—asking for the new washer and dryer or the queen sized bedroom set in the guest room. Once she realized she wouldn’t be getting those things, however, Cicely lowered her expectations and began asking for dishes and other household goods.

  “What’s wrong, girl?” she asked, noticing the disgusted look on Willa’s face. “Ooh, you probably need to eat something, huh? That baby’s hungry, girl. You wanna grab some breakfast? I haven’t been to The Big Wheel in I don’t know how long.”

  “Nah, I gotta go to work.”

  Willa barely spoke on the ride back to Cicely’s. When they got inside she collected the things Jade had left behind and hurried out of the house with no intentions of returning. Cicely wasn’t a friend, she was an opportunist and Willa didn’t have time for that. She had enough people in her life trying to use her.

  Twenty minutes later, after taking the I-65& 30 Venture, Willa arrived at the Twin Towers in Merrillville, Indiana. The seven floors of both the north and south buildings housed everything from employment and travel agencies to restaurants and day spas. Provincial Life Insurance was on the third floor of the north building in Suite 316. Before going upstairs Willa stopped in the food court for a chocolate doughnut and cup of coffee. The sixty-three-year old cashier complimented Willa like he did every time he saw her. She gave him a playful wink then made her way to the office. Willa was so hungry that she wolfed down her doughnut and drank most of her coffee by the time the elevator doors opened. It seemed as if a little breakfast might have been a good idea. And since she had decided to keep the baby, it was probably wise to start adopting some healthier eating habits. Doing away with the coffee would be a start, so Willa threw the other half of her drink in the trash.

  “Just the person I wanna see,” Leonard said, as Willa stepped out of the elevator. “Before you get settled in I need to speak with you, okay?”

  “Okay,” she replied.

  Willa was fairly certain she knew what he wanted to talk about. Ever since that afternoon they’d spent at the Radisson Hotel six months ago, Leonard had tried desperately to convince her to leave Miles for him. He didn’t seem to grasp that Willa thought of that day as the worst mistake she’d ever made and had no interest in being romantically involved. She was about to remind Leonard of that when he shocked her.

  “I’m so sorry, Willa, but they’re downsizing this office and we’re gonna have to let you go. I did everything I could to keep you, but the big boss decided that Ms. Gladys will be the secretary for the entire office instead of us each having our own. I’m really sorry.”

  Willa was beside herself with rage. More than anything, though, she was afraid. If she was unemployed Miles would definitely get full custody of Jade and the baby. And trying to get a new job would prove difficult being that she was five weeks pregnant and starting to get the first signs of morning sickness. Willa sat in her car for nearly an hour crying. She felt defeated and wondered if going back to Miles was the only solution she had.

  Eventually she pulled herself together and got out of the car to use the payphone. Willa called Cicely to ask if she could get Jade from school and let her stay over for a few hours. She didn’t mention losing her job or that she planned to spend the day trying to find a new one. Cicely told Willa to take her time and that Jade would be perfectly fine being there with them. And the girl was thrilled over the idea of hanging out with her friends again.

  Katrina sat on her bed frowning as Jade rambled on about how great Cicely was. “Your mom is cool. And she’s funny too. So how come you say all those mean things about her?”

  “Because they true! You just think she cool ‘cause you ain’t gotta live here with her. But you just wait. If you stick around for a while you’ll see past all that phony crap she be doing . . . outside playing kick ball with all of us and fixing snacks! She don’t never be doing junk like that ‘til other people come around. She always trying to impress somebody and be pretending like she love us so much. Then as soon as everybody leave she be beating on us for every little thing. Man, I can’t stand that stanky dog! I wish I had your mama. Now she is cool!”

  “What y’all in here talking about?” Honor asked, as she entered the room and plopped down on the bed beside Jade.

  “Mama old stupid butt,” Katrina sneered.

  “Can you believe her and her idiot boyfriend ate up all that food Jade’s mama brought? She brought that stuff for us but Mama gone sit up and give it to him like that low life some kinda king! She always calling other girls stupid for the stuff they be doing for men but she the one stupid! Reggie don’t do nothing but come over here a few times a month and eat up all our food!”

  “For real?” Jade asked, shocked to hear such things.
/>   “Yeah, for real! Quit trusting everybody all the time. You need to pay attention to stuff,” Katrina fussed.

  “I know you not telling me to pay attention! Who was the dummy on the playground talking to the wrong person?” Jade laughed loudly, as she pointed at her friend.

  “No, see the sun was in my eyes,” Katrina laughed. “Or maybe I got that eye disease . . . you know, cadillacs!”

  “No, you got brain disease! How else could you sit there talking to somebody and not know it wasn’t me? I mean for real, Katrina, that girl don’t even look like me. Stupid!” Jade giggled.

  “What girl?” Honor chuckled.

  “You know, what’s her face? Ain’t her name Ruby? No wait, Crystal or Gem, right?”

  Jade laughed again. “You know her name is Jewel.”

  Honor was next to burst out laughing. “Don’t you hate when people say you look like somebody you think is ugly?”

  She and Katrina looked at each other then looked at Jade and laughed. After ten minutes of incessant laughter, the boys went into the girls’ bedroom to find out what in the world was so funny. Landon was annoyed by all the cackling and told them to shut up. Robert and Alonzo, however, took any chance they could to get a glimpse of Jade. They both thought she was pretty but only Robert was vocal about

  it. In the two days since she’d come to their house he had complimented her on nearly everything from her eyes to her shoes to the fact that her ears weren’t pierced like every other girl’s was. At one point Cicely told Robert to go sit down and quit making a fool of himself. Jade thought he was sweet but it was Alonzo, the one who acted completely disinterested in her, who she adored.

  “Come on, Jade. Let’s get started on your homework” Cicely called from downstairs.

  “Oooh, she is so phony! Since when do she help people with homework?” Katrina whispered.